ChelsiAs I walked into work at 6:23am on a blustery winter morning, I passed a fifty something year old woman with big bold glasses, coveralls that indicated some wisdom about the weather, hair that looked wilder than planned, and an unhurried gait that made me believe she was happy to be here.
My sleepy brain uttered, “I love her.” It surprised me. At first, I wasn’t certain if I had said that out loud. It sounded so loud in my head that I thought my mouth had spoken it into existence, but she walked right by me indicating that nothing was actually said.
After temporary embarrassment that I might have told this stranger that I love her, I quickly changed my tune and thought, “I should have told her that I love her!”
My analysis of the situation was two-fold. First, I was proud of myself for feeling this way about people- for loving strangers on accident.
I know this isn’t so easy sometimes. People have trauma, triggers, and assumptions formed by lifetimes of experiences.
So, here, on a morning when my brain was tired and a little reckless, I was grateful that my lazy inner workings settled on love.
The second part of my analysis was the question of: What would it do for all of us if we shared our feelings more openly?
I recently had a float nurse (a nurse who works on all units in the hospital and only occasionally gets assigned to our unit) tell me out of the blue, “I just want you to know that whenever I see your name on the schedule, it makes me happy to come here. You make me feel calm and supported.” This made my whole week.
This sweet sentiment caught me off guard. It might have caught me off guard because it came from a person I only see once every couple months. She had no skin in the game in complimenting me. She simply wanted me to know this thing that I had never considered about myself.
In a society that prioritizes ego and individualism, people often feel embarrassed to acknowledge the impact of others… or perhaps, we are just too distracted to do so.
So, on that blustery winter morning when I walked past that stranger with the unhurried gait and untamed hair, I should have blurted out, “I love you!” or maybe something a little watered down… “Good Morning! Love your hair!”
As a mother in love with the two and four year old phases of my children’s lives, I can verify that unfiltered expression makes life a ton more interesting. While sometimes not flattering… like the time that Hutch told us, “You look brand new!” when seeing a picture from our wedding day in 2016, it is always incredibly endearing.
It is endearing even when it comes out a little strange like “Mom, I love your whole body!”
I think about all the people in my past who inspired me in big or small ways. It would have been nice to tell them so.
I think about a girl I played soccer with who had big, strong legs. In an era when thin was in, I wanted nothing more than to have her strong legs that could single-handedly dominate a midfield. I should’ve told her so.
One of my high school friends who started off as an acquaintance would do anything and everything to make me laugh. It happened when I was new to the school and to everyone around me. This girl and I would “coincidentally” use the bathroom at the same time and pull pranks like throwing wet paper towels over the stall until we hit the other person.
She once snorted a crushed mint in the middle of class just to make me smile… you know- classic high school stuff. She became one of my best friends.
I recently told her how I remember these quirky antics that kicked off our friendship, and I was surprised by her reaction. She rolled her eyes and said “Ugh” as if she was annoyed with this younger version of herself. I said, “What?! I love those memories!”
I should have told her all along- “I love your quirk. You make me happy to be here. Seeing you is something I look forward to every day.” She lightened my day and made me feel belonging; she still does.
Now, here we are at the start of 2025. And while resolutions are made to be broken, perhaps this would be a good one to keep- tell people what you think of them.
I suppose this could go a lot of ways if you feel less than impressed with a person, but what the hell, I said what I said- tell people what you think of them.
Take inspiration from my four year old who spews everything he thinks and from a place of love and curiosity.
Every day, I write down a little something that my kids say or do. Here are some of my favorites from the mouths of babes (specifically Hutch) in 2024…
“Daddy, with a beard you look like a guy that takes breaks but without a beard you look like you don’t take breaks.”
“Mama come see my poop! It looks like a twisty slide. Isn’t that so weird?”
“I love when Mama laughs at me and I love that Dad gives me milk, and I love when Winnie hugs me.”
“Mama you know why I miss you when you’re at work? Because I just have so much to tell you!”
“Dada I really love haybales.”
“Mama I’m just like Papa because I say Uffda whenever I fall over.”
“I like Dada and I like all the girls of the world!”
“Dada, I love you both but I love Mama the most. I like to look at her face.”
“Mom, I’m just thinking about all the things that have feelings but can’t talk.”
“Well, different people are different.”
“I like that Scarlett has a soft head.”
“Mama, do you want me to tell you all the bad words I know?… Bad. Stupid. Bully.”
“Mama, I know I’m not supposed to show my penis and butt but Grammy already saw that when she changed my baby diapers.”
“Mama can we get a house bird? I like little ones that I can hold. The chickens are too heavy.”
“Mama, I love you so bad. Dada, I love you medium.”
“Mama, I love pine trees. I just love them.”
“I want Mama to have the cheesiest eggs because I want her to be really happy today.”
“I write Hutch Hutch Hutch all over. I just mean to write one Hutch but then I keep going and going.”
“Mama, Daddy did something very rude. Daddy didn’t let me buy you everything you love- something yellow, sparkly dots, and a container for stuff.”
“I want to go in a rocket for my birthday so I can tell the planet to never stop snowing!”
“Mom, I’m worried that I’m not a kid anymore because I jumped on my bed and thought I was gonna puke.”
“What are flurries? Like sprinkles?”
“You know the only thing I like more than gingerbread houses… friends!”
“I love Jess because she gives me food I really like.
Take it from a four year old- “Different people are different!”
In 2025, let’s celebrate that!
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